“For Your Age”

I love that you’re bring up this topic as well. How we refer to a person’s age can make a difference in so many ways — but it is tricky! I think what offends me most is the “anti” part of the term “anti-aging.” Anything that makes me feel guilty and ashamed of the aging process misses the point and is counterproductive — because all of us are going to “age” no matter what.

It’s hard enough — when we reach our elder years — to face various health problems and changes in our bodies. When we work to take better care of ourselves or improve the quality of our lives, that isn’t an “anti-aging” attempt. We’re really working toward feeling healthy and being the best we can be. I think that applies to how we use cosmetics and other beauty products. If we enhance the skin we have and take care of it, we’re going to look and feel our best.

I think there needs to be a shift in how we perceive aging and older people in general. If we started seeing the beauty and benefits of aging people, I think the words “senior” and “elder” and “older” would take on a more positive meaning. We need to start valuing and praising the wisdom and experience of mature people.

Youth is overrated. Just the other day, my husband and I were watching the news and shaking our heads at all the terrible behavior that’s going on everywhere — in our country and around the world. While watching all this unfold, we were using phrases like, “He’s acting like a child!” or “What an immature person!” In other words, sometimes when you tell someone they’re acting childish or young for their age, it isn’t a compliment! 🙂 Older and wiser is a good thing.

Hello! and thank you very VERY much for addressing this issue of women and aging. I have felt so strongly about it, but never found anyone who wanted to talk about it. I’m glad I’m not the only one, so thank you, and here goes.

Now that I am 50, I not only see how difficult it can be emotionally and physically, but I also see how discriminated against I feel. Think about it. Younger people are okay telling their older friends they look good “for their age”, right? Well that’s the same as saying, “you look good – even though you’re 50”. But would they tell the same friend she looks good “even though she’s white”, or “even though she’s overweight”? No way! Because that would be racist and discriminatory, and terribly offensive. So why is it okay to so flippantly disregard the feelings and self-image of an “older woman”?

Even in this evolved day and age, society still thrives on its ability to get away with making a mockery of people who are older. I think that’s ridiculous, because it’s the one protected class every single human being will experience first hand. (…and only if they are lucky!) It sometimes feels like a “Mean Girl” society out there, because women “of a certain age” are suddenly booted out of the world of pop culture, fashion, and beauty.

I was very pleased to see the diversity in the women who modeled the creations on this season’s Project Runway. The fashion industry has taken a huge turn by using models who more-accurately reflect real life, and who look like a larger percentage of the people in the world, inside and out. But one segment of society that is still sorely underrepresented in the fashion world is women over 50 (this is why I LOVE your blog so much!). My hope is that society is expanding its view of “beauty” even more to include all of us. Throughout time we have chipped away at the inconceivable discrimination practices that were based on race, religion, physical ability, national origin, and sexual orientation. But have we eradicated age discrimination? Now that I’m included in this so-called “protected class”, I feel we have not.

Even though I’m 50, I am still very interested in all the fashion and beauty younger women like. I still want to look my best and represent myself in a stylish and fashionable way. Beauty and Fashion Industry, please include women who look like me, just as you do with other under-represented groups. Do your part to change society’s negative view of aging. We ALL want to be in on the fun! ?

Fabulous post Dawn! First, I love RoC products and respect so much that they’ve always been an innovator in skincare (hello, first to make Retinol available OTC!). I loved reading your thoughts bc age is such a hot topic. Women have it the toughest. I’ve found it also goes both ways – “for your age” is so innappropriate and so is telling a woman “you’re a baby!” in a professional setting. I’ve witnessed both. So here’s to a world where compliments don’t have qualifiers!

Wonderful post. I really enjoyed reading this and I can relate to how difficult it is to balance the fear of ageing with the need to celebrate our age. I haven’t used RoC products in years – thanks for reminding me what a great brand they are. x