Does it bother you when someone tells you that you look good “for your age” …? It’s never bothered me that much, but a recent survey came out that shows that most women would rather not have a compliment at all, rather than have “for your age” tacked to the end of one. I think it’s a good place to start discussing how we talk about aging in our culture!
This post was sponsored by RoC skincare. I agreed to do it because I wanted to get my readers’ opinion about the language we use to discuss aging. Also, I respect that RoC doesn’t promise miracles for a fortune, but rather just healthy sensible skincare that leaves skin brighter and smoother.
The RoC Survey
RoC surveyed women to hear their experiences and opinions about our cultural view of aging. Would you believe that 82% of women have been given the backhanded compliment that they look great “for their age” in the past year? Most women agree (87%) that society expects women to act their age, but look younger, with 78% of the women saying that women get criticized for their looks as they age, while men get more compliments. More than 60% of women admit to altering their behavior after being told to act their age, though the tide is turning and 88% of women say they refuse to conform to the societal standards set for their age. How do you feel about these numbers? Does anything in the survey surprise you or anger you? (To learn more about the study, click here.)
I Say Stupid Things Too
RoC invited bloggers to share a personal story about the way we discuss aging and this is the memory I thought of immediately. When I first started blogging, I said in a post that I didn’t want to “look like a grandma.” To be honest, I never thought twice about saying this. When a reader commented “what’s wrong with being a grandma and what’s a grandma look like anyway?” I was flabbergasted. At first, I felt attacked, like they were being too sensitive. Oh come on, we all know what I meant … we all have a stereotypical grandma visual in our heads, right? But then I realized, hey that’s exactly the issue … a stereotypical view. It made me see things differently and I’ve never used that expression again.
About a month ago, karma came around in a funny way. One of my students said he liked me so much that he wished I was his grandma! I wasn’t thrilled at first, but then I decided to just take it as a compliment!
Is this wrong?
Recently I did a post for holiday dresses aimed at midlife women. Is that wrong? I honestly don’t know. I guess instead of saying “over 40” I could say “classy and trendy” … or “figure flattering” … but then will my readers online find me from that? I certainly make a point of saying in my post that women should wear whatever they want and feel good in! When it comes to using the best language to discuss aging, I’m still trying to find my way too.
About RoC Skincare
I’m also still trying to find my peace with the changing reflection in the mirror. As we age, skincare becomes more important to most of us. If we haven’t started when we were younger, now we definitely think about taking care of our skin with quality products. If you’re not familiar with RoC, let me give you a little introduction. RoC was developed in 1957 by a French doctor, Dr. Jean-Charles Lissarrague. The name was given as a nod to the Parisian pharmacy, Rose Cavailles where he started experimenting with skincare products. The brand was the first to stabilize retinol in an over the counter products, the first to develop hypoallergenic products, as well as the first SPF sunscreen. Every product is scientifically-tested and clinically proven to produce brighter, smoother, healthier skin.
I’ve been using this Retinol Correxion Max Daily Hydrating Creme for about a week now. It feels super nice on my skin. Though I need moisture, I also worry about clogged pores when I use creams, but this cream is oil-free and non-comedogenic. With the maximum level of retinol and 24 hour hydrating, the cream will reduce fine lines and dark spots. So far, so good … my skin is looking pretty! The new RoC Retinol Correxion Max Daily Hydrating Creme is available now.
I’m so proud to be a part of this generation of women talking about aging in a new way. Did you know that Thandie Newton (of Westworld fame) is also working with RoC to discuss how women feel about aging in our culture? Life can be a glorious adventure in every decade. Personally, I found true love in my 40’s and started my passion project (this blog!) in my late 40’s. At 50 I had a life long dream come true, a trip to New York Fashion Week! A woman can be anything regardless of her age. Let’s change some language and get the conversation going! I can’t wait to read your comments!
With Fun & Fashion,